The Black Plague is Upon Us…Pun Intended

Rebecca Black

Photo By: Williamaturner

Update: Welp, looks we can no longer “get down” with Rebecca Black on Youtube. No more fun, fun, fun, fun. No more stomach-turning auto-tune. And no more oddly placed, creepy rappers. Yeah, I know we’re kind of late with this tragic news, but apparently Black’s lawyers pulled her “hit” from Youtube due to claims that Ark Music Factory exploited her publicity rights. Feel free to read the article here. Before you shed any tears, we have some great news for you. Shortly after wiping the tears from our eyes and the snot from under our noses we found her video here. Hooray for the interweb!

Original article:

Sorry. We just watched Rebecca Black’s video and couldn’t help it. Black is new to us and may be new to you, but she is not new to interweb users who are—probably at this very moment—virtually text-whooping her ass. But why you wonder? Because of her Youtube hit—well sort of—Friday.

For those of you who don’t know much about Rebecca Black, Cheap Sushi will give you a brief breakdown of her sudden emergence into the music industry. Long story short: Rebecca Black’s mom pays Ark Music Factory (an artist development agency) $2000 to package her music professionally (a choice of two pre-written songs is included), song releases on Youtube, song literally gets more views than a Lady Gaga music video, and here we are today.

So we are sure newcomers to the thirteen-year-old, overnight sensation are thinking “A viral music video on Youtube? That’s awesome!” Right? Sadly in Rebecca Black’s case, the general consensus considers her the “laughing stock” of Youtube. Rather than becoming viral because of raw talent like Justin Bieber, Black is viewed as “the other side of the Internet fame coin.”

The song’s sudden surge in Youtube views apparently came about after aTosh.0 blog post “Songwriting Isn’t for Everyone.” Shortly afterward, she caught a bit of the media attention bug. And don’t think that her Internet publicity stopped Youtube user’s from piggybacking on the single’s somewhat success by making covers (yes, they went there).

So what makes the song so bad? Those in the Internet galaxy criticize the song’s overly simplistic lyrics, the over-use of Auto-tune, the awkwardness, the “creepy old guy” rapping in the song*—and basically every other component of the music video you could think of. Net users hate the song so much that they have been on a textual attacking spree against Black. We were bored so we randomly picked a few funny tweets about her:

Rebecca Black sounds like a twelve-year-old dog on its deathbed with a bone stuck in its throat –  Twitter user

Rebecca Black makes me want to cry. I hate her so much – Twitter user

I’m pretty sure Rebecca Black’s only fan is Helen Keller. Even that’s a stretch. – Twitter user

But not EVERYONE hates her song. Check out some of her rave reviews here.

And not mention that American Idol judge Simon Cowell has nothing but good things to say about her.

So what is Cheap Sushi’s take on the matter? Glad you were curious. Well, personally we feel that some people need to grow the fuck up. Black is a thirteen-year-old girl. There are more important matters worth discussing. Do we love her song? By all means no. Is her song the worst song ever? Definitely not.  Not convinced? Then you must have forgot about this song—actually, that song is pretty awesome.

Who knows, maybe Rebecca Black has just enough spunk to be as infamous as William Hung (yes, we still remember and love you). Or maybe all of the Internet attention she gets will help her skyrocket to the tippy top.

Are negative Internet commentators REALLY damaging her career or are they giving her more attention than she deserves? If Rebecca Black is such a shitty singer, then please leave her alone. Let her suck ass at singing. Let her continue to force dogs to howl at the moon every time she tries hitting an Auto-tuned out high note. Or offer constructive criticism–that’s if you have anything worth saying. But please, please don’t think that calling her out of her name or saying “she should drive off a bridge” will do any good. As a matter of fact, the net-bashing is only pushing her to work on her next hit…or miss.

There are really REALLY bad videos on Youtube.  There are Youtube videos out there that are so bad you wouldn’t let your worst enemy sit through.  There are videos that are so bad that you’d want to slap the taste out of your mouth after watching it–damn near squeezing a tear out of your face. On second thought, her video may have been that bad for some people. If that applies to you, we’re sorry.

But don’t be discouraged by the current state of music, Cheap Sushi readers. There are plenty of talented artists out there creating really great music. It just so happens that—for the moment at least—the only artists that get much attention are either really good or really bad. You can say what you want about which category you think Black falls under, but we all need to shine some time, right?

What are your thoughts? Do you think Rebecca Black has what it takes to put the beat down on the music industry?

And to the blog that wrote Black may not be destined for a Grammy, we agree. But she might get a live performance on the next BET awards. Antoine Dodson did.

*The old dude rapping in the video owns the half of Ark Music Factory. Maybe that explains why he was there. Good idea? Apparently not.

Oh yes. And here’s a pretty cool parody of Friday that we just discovered. Enjoy.

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